Short Concertgoer Annoyed After Getting Stuck Behind Man Growing Continuously Taller - The Onion

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LOS ANGELES—Standing on her tiptoes and craning her neck to no avail, short concertgoer Kate Wulff reportedly grew annoyed Friday night after getting stuck behind a man growing continuously taller. “Goddamn it, this guy’s got to be at least 6-foot-4—and now he’s 6-foot-5, 6-foot-6, 6-foot-7,” said Wulff, who groaned in frustration and stated that just once she’d like to go to a show where she wasn’t trapped behind a rapidly growing man. “I know he can’t control it, but I’m just saying, if I were a guy who was getting taller and taller, I’d stand way at the back. Christ, I can’t see a thing! I’d say something, but I can’t even reach up to tap on his shoulder anymore. Well, at least he’s not growing any wider.” At press time, Wulff was complaining that she also couldn’t hear the band over the sound of the 40-foot-tall man’s head bursting through the roof.